August 16, 2009
Jobless…
You are now an outsider
No longer part of the mechanism
Not needed, surplus to requirement, redundant
Your mind slowly blunting at the bottom of the bottom drawer of life
The eyes of others betray emotions of derision and contempt
Fearful that they may catch your disease
Keeping a distance and loathing your weakness and inability
A moment of pseudo sympathy and they’re gone, you’re of no further use to them
Someone’s mild disagreement is an undeniable confirmation of your failure
That affirmation is everywhere; you just never saw it before now
Self-confidence is eroded with every counter-opinion to yours
Your worth is worthless and your prospects worth less than that
Pride declines a charitable offer yet, you wish they’d persist
Dismissal and cynicism is your antidote to their wise advice
Don’t you think I have thought of that and tried this? You say
The fact is that, embarrassment at your own ineptitude becomes hostility
The face of your child is a gallery of unconscious naivety
You draw her in close as if it could be a surrogate for decent food and warmth
You cry for them and, perhaps, more for you at your inability to provide
You’re not sure how or when it will end but certainly, it will end
Slowly yet, quite perceptibly, you have become the person you scorned
You now comprehend the reason for their shabby appearance
You realise that hesitance isn’t stupidity but a fear of making a bad impression
You can now walk a mile in another man’s shoes…until they wear out
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