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Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'
Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, ...
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From: TheOnion
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Duration: 03:02
Category: Shows
All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash
Breaking News, officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and ...
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From: TheOnion
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Duration: 03:00
Category: Shows
Expert Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters
Today Now! host Jim Haggerty consoles a severely depressed zoologist on the latest Critter Corner ...
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From: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:55
Category: Shows
U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt
Congress says that with no way to actually pay back our debts, faking a coup to eliminate financial ...
From: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:30
Category: Shows
US To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through Cash4Gold.com
Treasury officials say the gold has just been rattling around in the bottom of some vaults at the ...
From: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:32
Category: Shows
Is The Government Spying On Schizophrenics Enough?
In The Know: Panelists discuss ways to care for the nation's paranoid schizophrenics, such as ...
From: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:19
Category: Shows
Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars
Disney claims its latest batch of child stars is so lifelike, youll barely be able to tell they ...
From: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:41
Category: Shows
Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election
Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics ...
From: TheOnion
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Duration: 03:00
Category: Shows
Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
Our Tech Trends reporter looks at the new gizmo Sony promises will revolutionize the way consumers ...
From: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:31
Category: Shows
Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation
Today Now! has the story of an 8-year-old whose demand for never-ending wish fulfillment may force ...
From: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:24
Category: Shows
Are Our Children Learning Enough About Whales?
In The Know: Panelists discuss a new report that found only 84% of education funding goes to ...
From: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:18
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World's Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100
Nothing can stop Carl Wainwright from doing what he loves best -- performing surgery on the human ...
From: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:10
Category: Shows

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